Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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