Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
