We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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