O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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