if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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