idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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