That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
