i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
