so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
