eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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