That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
