She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
