I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The air was thick with penises
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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