I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
