Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
