even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
