I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
