Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
