She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
When are your genitals available?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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