just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
