I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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