What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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