guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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