Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
