By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
