the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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