I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
