just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
