Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
