omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
