took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
