i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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