Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
