i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
