You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
