the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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