Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
