Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
