she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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