She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
