kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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