Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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