i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
