what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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