After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
