He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
