and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
