Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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