ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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