White coat. Heels.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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