I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
