**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
