When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
