I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
