Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
