i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
