hell yes lets make some ravioli
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
